Fifty Shades of Leila's Love
by N J Free
Summary: She had read and signed the contract. She was fully aware of what she was getting herself into. Boundaries were set and expectations understood. This was going to be fun. Or so they thought...
1. Chapter 1

Epilogue

It's the last weekend of our three month contract and I am more than hopeful that we are going to agree an extension. We simply have to extend the contract because my life without him doesn't bare thinking about.

In anticipation of the weekend ahead I am suitably plucked and waxed to within an inch of my life all thanks to Greta at Mrs Lincoln's salon. After I have checked my weekend bag for the last time I zip it up and head for the door, grabbing the keys to my shiny new Audi A3 from the side table. As I reach the door handle, my phone starts to buzz. Damn, I can't be late; Sir will not stand for tardiness. _Oh but the punishment would be so sweet. _Glancing at the screen I don't recognise the number but answer anyway "Leila Williams" I state as I check out my hair in the mirror adjacent to the door.

"Ma'am its Taylor. Unfortunately Mr Grey is unavailable to see you this weekend." he states flatly.

As soon as he said the word "unfortunately" it felt like I had drank a gallon of ice cold water and my stomach plummeted. _ Why? Is he going off me? Does he already have a new submissive lined up? _I am convinced he has started to have feelings for me, granted not as strong as the feelings I have for him but he just needs time to realise how great we would be together. We could be happy; I could make him happy, if he would just let me.

"Goodbye Ma'am" Taylor ends the call not even waiting for my response. He has never liked me but he has always been polite, that was just plain fucking rude.

I am still holding the phone to my ear as I stare at my reflection in the mirror, my long brown hair is a stark contrast to my now pale and drawn face and a single tear rolls down my cheek. I know what is coming, it's over. I just know it, I don't know how but I do. I can feel the fibres of my heart ripping apart and with the realisation that I am never going to see him again I can't stop my physical reaction and vomit all over my Louboutin heels.

The following Monday I receive the paperwork confirming that our agreement will not be extended, Mr Grey has kindly offered to financially support my art classes and I can keep the Audi. I stare at the formal notification of termination. I can't breathe, I squeeze my eyes closed willing myself not to cry anymore. I have done nothing but cry since Friday evening. When I open my eyes I realise that I have screwed the letter into a ball and I am clenching my jaw. _This is not over. You will let me love you._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

"The greatest gift is just to love and be loved in return" The midget bellows as he falls from the ceiling and instantly falls asleep.

I turn the film off, its cheery hopefulness not remotely penetrating my brooding depression. It's Saturday evening and the rest of Seattle is out living life and enjoying the warm weather. My weekends were reserved entirely for him; this new found freedom is devastatingly lonely. I am his and his alone. Without him I don't exist and that realisation knocks me sick to my stomach. I am nothing. It is not meant to be like this, I am a strong woman, and I have friends and family who love me. "You had friends" my subconscious reprimands. Part of our agreement was that I would give up my entire weekends for him and after that first interview to discuss soft and hard limits I was lost. I didn't hesitate to agree to everything he demanded; I didn't even raise my hard limits. Looking into his gleaming grey eyes as we discussed "equipment" I was sure I could convince him in time to relent on some of the contract conditions. _More fool me._

When I signed the initial three month contract last fall, I was so excited. He was to be my second Dom and I was relishing the thought of something new. I had been Claude's submissive for over a year and although sad to end our agreement I was also looking forward to the change and Mr Grey was certainly that. Claude was by no means unattractive but Mr Grey was out of this world handsome. I couldn't wait to serve him.

Right from the start the set up was different with him. He was cold and distant even when we were not in role playing mode, not to mention the non disclosure agreement and the vetting by Mrs Lincoln. _ I still don't understand their friendship._

I pull myself up from the sofa and walk over to the table to check my phone, still nothing. I don't know why I am bothering to check, he hasn't called for the last four months, and he sure isn't going to call now. _ Unless this is a game, him making me wait and yearn for him, ahhhh blissful torture Sir_. My inner Goddess takes a break from dabbing her eyes with a sopping tissue and a hopeful smile spreads across her face. My subconscious throws her hands up in despair and casts me an admonishing glare "get-a-grip-you-pathetic-bitch-where- is-your-self-respect?". She is right of course, I am being ridiculous, clinging onto any shred of hope that might mean I haven't lost him forever. Sometimes pretending takes the pain away but then the realisation of what I am doing makes me feel even more depressed.

I know it's not a game, I know that it's over. I am convinced he has another sub, I know him, and he needs his release. _Why can't I be his release?_ I was a good submissive, I never once disobeyed him.I soothe myself with the thought that his next sub will be out on her arse soon enough and remind myself that he is a fucked up megalomaniac and will never change. His dismissal of me is about him and not me. I relish the thought of him realising what he has lost in me one day but by then it will be too late. I will have moved on. Christian Grey will regret the day he got Taylor to do his dirty work. _Fucking Taylor, I hope he rots in hell. _This small thought makes me smile, yes one day, you will want me. _Please want me._

I go to collect the newspaper from where it has been lay since this morning and as I do I am more than aware that I have let myself go over these last few months, my hair is lank and in desperate need of a good wash._ When did I last eat?_ As I lean down to pick up the paper I get a whiff of my body odour. I resolve to definitely shower tomorrow. _ Well, there is no point in doing it tonight. _

The breath catches in my throat as I take in the eyes staring back at me. Sir. Master. Mr Grey. It's you. I can't move. I can't take my eyes off him. The pain is as fresh as that Friday night, nothing has changed. A knife through my heart would be surely less painful.

Wait what the fuck. Who is that stood with him? The caption below the photo "Mr Christian Grey and friend Miss Anastasia Steele". _Friend my ass, I know that look in her eyes, she has it bad. _Buta date. Outside of his apartment and to be so publically photographed. Something isn't right. This isn't the Sir that I know. _His stance is different, he looks …..Comfortable._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

I have been here for hours and I don't know why I got here so early. I know what time she finishes, I have watched her leave SIP every night this week. I am starting to feel cold and my stomach is screaming at me to eat something. I can't think of anything but seeing her though. Food is the last thing I want even though I know it will upset Mr Grey to know that I am hungry. He can't bear for me to be hungry. _See, he does care._

She saunters out of her office and makes her way to cross the road, this is it. This is my chance. I just need a closer look, I won't speak to her. I don't understand what is so special about her. _Why her and not me?_

"Miss Steele?" I call to her and she turns around, clearly taken aback. So much for not speaking to her my subconscious reprimands. She reminds me of someone but I don't know who. She is certainly attractive but I don't instantly see what is so special about her.

"Miss Anastasia Steele?" I quiz her.

"Yes" she looks at me, not moving from her spot.

"Can I help you?" she asks, her voice is eerily soft. I have stopped in front of her and she is close enough to touch, maybe I could touch her? Feel what she has that I don't.

"No...I just wanted to look" I stutter and I can't take my eyes off her. How did it come to this? I need her to explain to me how she did it. How did she win his heart? _Maybe she doesn't have any hard limits? _My mind is racing and I feel the despair sucking me further into a black hole.

"Sorry - you have me at a disadvantage" she says, starting to look uncomfortable. I am glad that I am making her feel like this. It's nothing compared to the desolation I have endured since seeing that photo of them together at her graduation. I knew there was something different even then; Sir never has a date, never mind his fucking photo taken with one. Not before Miss Fucking Perfect appeared. _What does Mrs Lincoln make of her?_

"What do you have that I don't" I whisper. Please tell me, you have no idea how much I need to know.

Her anxiety visibly shifts to fear "I am sorry - who are you?"

"Me? I am nobody" I think out loud whilst brushing the hair from my face. My hair is thick with grease and the sleeve of my trench coat falls away revealing my latest pathetic attempt to end the constant pain. I am suddenly all too aware of how hopeless this is and I need to distance myself from the beautiful woman stood in front of me. You were like her once, you had your whole life ahead of you my subconscious chides.

"Good day, Miss Steele." I turn and walk away from her, weaving my way into the hustle and bustle of workers pouring out of their offices.

What makes her think she can take him from me, doesn't she realise that he needs me.

I have to stop her.


End file.
